Only yes means yes
May 31, 2016
Jeff Bucholtz, representing the organization We End Violence and hosted by the local non-profit group Advocates for a Violence Free Community, spoke at the Middle Park High School on Thursday May, 27 in an effort to raise awareness about sexual violence and to provide ideas for its prevention. Jeff received his Master of Arts in Women’s Studies from the San Diego State University in 2006 and produced a documentary film titled “A Way from Violence” in 2009. For the past 11 years he has worked as an activist and speaker in an effort to reduce or eliminate sexual violence and he specifically likes to engage men in this effort.
The old adage “no means no” should be replaced with a more affirmative “yes means yes’ when people are engaging in sexual relations, said Bucholtz. For a variety of reasons, including intoxication, a person may not be able to clearly state that they do not want to engage in sexual relations. It is more helpful and safe for potential sexual partners to affirmatively say yes each time they wish to proceed farther when engaging in sexual activities, he said.
According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, “one in five women and one in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives.
“Many rapists believe that their assaults are normal sexual behavior. Our current pop culture supports this attitude in song lyrics, advertising and other forms by showing non-consensual sex (rape) as normal and accepted behavior.”
Bucholtz recommends that we say three things when talking to a victim of sexual violence. How can I help? I am so sorry. It’s not your fault.
By making these three comments each of us can be a lifeline for a victim and help them begin their recovery.